Believe in You

 [A real happening]

This week I learned a important lesson, one that I needed to learn. My lesson: Believe in Yourself Today (as opposed to believing in yourself tomorrow).

Almost ten years ago, I began my journey as an author. I love to write. I knew I wanted to be a writer almost all of my life. It is something that is deep inside of me. Yet, being an author is very difficult for me. It pushes me into uncomfortable areas. In hindsight, during my first run at authorship, I sadly focused on my failures more than I rejoiced in my success. I am now working on overcoming this perspective. 

Fortunately, while I was struggling with where I was as an author, I found I excelled in other passions. During this season of life, I have been extremely blessed to have some of the best jobs in the world. In fact, these jobs have been so fun and purposeful that at times I have almost convinced myself that writing, and particularly authorship, is not essential for me.

So through the years I have stayed busy in worthwhile causes, which has let me slip further and further from my obligations as an author. Since the publication of Sanders' Starfish, I have focused more on course publications and educational program for children. I have been able to succeed in design, creativity, and writing by hiding myself behind other organizations. And I have learned lots through the process.

Then at the end of 2011, I made a decision. Not a big drawn-out-thought-through decision, just an "I don't know if authorship fits with my life right now" decision. As a result, I let my website hosting and domain name lapse.

Fast forward to the present, where due to wonderful events, I'm resuming my role as an author. I'm ecstatic with the approaching publication of Unauthored Letters. Pleased with every improvement that has been made to this novel over the past long years. Not to mention the amazing recent work of Savannah Wood.

Then two weeks ago, I learned that the first chapter of Unauthored Letters will appear in the next edition of Crimson Fog. I am thrilled. And extremely grateful for this chance for additional exposure. So naturally I look to my website, prepared to go through simple steps to get it back up and running. Then STOP! Dead end! Someone else has purchased my domain name.

To state I'm heartbroken is an understatement.

Over the past few days, I've been learning just how unfortunate this truly is for me. On the flip side, the new owner does not appear to want to do anything with the website. I would feel a little better if someone actually cared about the domain name, instead it is one of those snatchers that snatch it up due to my negligence.

And then of course I ask myself, was it negligence or disbelief in who I am? Did a moment of giving up on myself cost me my domain name?

The truth is - if I would have believed in myself, even if I wasn't actively following my dreams at the moment, I would still own my domain name. 

What a lesson.

Now I know. Don't just wait until tomorrow...believe in you today.